Results from Delamere and Turkey player profiles

Next Event is the wonderful Prestbury Golf Club on Thursday 3rd March

**This is now 12.30pm shotgun start** Pairs betterball £25 inc bacon sandwich.

Results from Delightful Delamere.

Delamere Forest was the stunning setting for the latest Maxitours event. Indeed the venue is considered so special by Maxitours players that several players made a real effort, Phil Smeathers decided to wear something that looked reasonably smart, Kenny Jepsum polished his shoes and Pete Myers combed his hair.

The pins were tucked away behind bunkers and positioned on severe slopes, this combined with the slick greens made for some interesting putting, Stuart Hall either has nits or couldn’t read the greens as he was seen scratching his head on numerous occasions. The first pairing to master the greens was Big Jack Kirwan and his less attractive brother Joe who scored 44 points. This has been a great week for the gentle giant as he was quite rightly made Life member at Bramall Golf Club on Sunday- congratulations Jack.

Carl Kennedy and Joe York, two of the most feared golfers in Cheshire once again played well for 44 points, as did Charles Herbert and Andy Stubbens, Andy Hall and Mick Holmes and John Hughes and Mark Ashworth all scored 44 points.

Colin Byrne and John Aikenhead were delighted with their 46 points, big hitting businessman Byrne rarely plays well and is so excited he has already texted me three times and emailed me once to find out his position, to be fair his birdie on the seventeenth was awesome!

The score of the day went to Lymm Golf clubs single figure pairing of Andy Cunningham and Chris Perrin, they scored a magnificent 48 points with Perrins eagle on the 7th following a great birdie on the 6th being the highlight of their round great score chaps.

Special mention to Glynn Jones who hit a tremendous 5 iron to set up a birdie on the tough 16th.

The Maxitours event next week takes place in Turkey on three of the best courses in Europe , there are some player profiles below todays results to help you pick your winner! Please let me know if you are interested in coming on this phenomenal trip next year.

Neil Griffiths (Griff) h’cap 11 Robbie Savage lookalike Neil has succeeded in achieving some much needed weight loss however this may affect his swing which has flattened in recent years to adapt to his portly body shape. This happy go lucky scouser and ex semi pro footballer is a great iron player on his day and could do well this week.

James Marner (Marns) h’cap 2 This Andrew Murray lookalike has found some great form this winter, his long game has moved up a few gears and his short game is as classy as ever. He is really looking forward to settling down to start a family soon so this could be one of his last golf holidays for a few years, can he make the most of his freedom this week?

James Murphy hcap 12(Junior)

James, the south’s youngest competitor, has, over the past 4 years, produced 2 boys, he is a dedicated father (even though social services have investigated him due to the poor lads allegedly being seen wearing Spurs tops) Due to parental responsibilities James’ golf has suffered with his Warren membership equating to £450 per 18 holes. This however has not affected his game and is very comfortable off his handicap. You will find James a very shy and retiring lad and we are hoping this trip may bring him out of his shell. James has wonderful rhythm and his ball flight is that of a top pro.

Neil Manley hcap 18 (Old Button Nose)

Neil has been in training for this trip, relentlessly honing his skills in readiness for the free bar and ‘all you can eat’ buffet. We think he is just peaking in time and feel he is worthy of his +4 handicap in this department. As for Neil’s golf, it has improved immensely over the last 12 months aided by his new 8 hour working week. Any of you who know Neil’s chipping finesse will undoubtedly have packed your cricket pads in the event you are drawn in his fourball- if Neil shouts ‘fore’ please remember to jump. He assures us a recent short game lesson has convinced his Golf Plan insurance company to reinstate his cover. His favourite shot is a fade.

Mike Brown hcap 2 (magic Mikey) Mike managed to hit 17 trees in one round during last year’s Portugal pro-am & his grand finale was managing to hit the yellow tee marker sending it twenty foot into the air on the 5th at San Lorenzo with the course marshall looking on in amazement. Mike post shot routine usually involves some form of swearing. Watch out for his party pants this week.

Graham (Woodsie) Woods hcap 16 Woodsie has very few swing faults and could be one of the favourites this week. The last time this Senior Mechanical Engineer played abroad he started the Portugal Pro-am in style on the first night by doing his world famous dancing to Alison Limerick at 5.30am, then managed to eat a packet of crisps in his sleep. Can he stand the pace this week?

Steve Best (Besty) Hcap 7 Prestbury member Steve Best has had more top jobs than I’ve had hot dinners. This talented businessman and ex marine has started to find a few extra yards on his drives and can putt as well as anyone on his day. He has recently lost weight in order to fit in the Swedish tight fitting Galvin Green tops (size medium) he gets from his new European Tour best pal Jamie Donaldson. He could easily finish first this week.

Peter ‘Reg’Holmes Hcap 8 Holmes is a Senior Technical Engineer so you would imagine a technically perfect set up- however nothing could be further from the truth. This 8 handicapper does however have a classy short game and should feature in the prizes. Peter could be found during the eighties strutting around in white denim dungarees however now he only ever wears them when he is abroad. (oh deary me)

Moby (Mo) Rawthore h’cap 4 One of the most likeable men in golf this businessman/stockbroker loves a challenge and he must be one of the favourites this week. Moby on his day is one of the best amateur putters I have witnessed this combined with a few lucky ricochets out of the trees must make him one of the favourites. Favourite golfing phrases are ‘it’s a good shot is that’ ‘get out of those trees’ and ‘Jeesus Wept’.

Cath Rawthore (Catherine Francis Theresa) h’cap 3 Everybody loves Cath. We love her charisma, her gaelic beauty, her soft voice, her Irish tenderness and the fact that she plays golf like a bloke. This classy Cheshire county player has worked hard in improving her portfolio of shots this winter, we don’t know why because if those tees are a long way forward she’ll be hitting her driver then a wedge everywhere. Cath must have a great chance however will the red wine lead her astray once again – lets hope so.

Mark Ronald Foley (Bigssy) h’cap 6 Probably the straightest hitter in the field this man knows how to get the ball around a golf course. Mark is also a great putter and those signature flop shots out of the bunkers are worth watching also. Most people on holiday tend to turn a healthy golden brown colour over the course of the week however watch Marks party trick as he gradually turns a pastey greeny/grey colour as lack of sleep and Bacardi takes its toll. Also known as Peter Sutcliffe (his golf swing has ‘no release’)

Amjad Butt (jam butty) h’cap 12 The best Physio in Lancashire is taking a well earned break this week. Watching that power fade drilling through the breeze towards the flag is a sight we are familiar with when Amjad is on his game. This man is one of the few people to smile as much as me. My money is on this fearless competitor this week as the last time we played 12 handicap Butt was under par thru 14 around the tough Mere Golf Course.

Joe Kirwan (orang-utan)h’cap 5 This big hitting 55 year old has represented Cheshire Seniors on many occasions and this dedicated golfer regularly has to climb over the gate to get on the practice ground at Bramall GC before the greenkeepers arrive at 6.00am. For such an old man where Joes power came from was always a mystery, however I drove his car home for him after he had been drinking one night and couldn’t touch the steering wheel, Joe has the longest arms in Cheshire, thus he is fondly known as ‘the orang-utan’

Kath Kirwan (My ex PE teacher) h’cap 16 Kath was a great teacher and is now proving to be a great pupil – Kath is a delight to teach but must talk less during her lessons! Kath is improving all the time and could be a single figure player in the near future. She is an ideal wife – she lets her husband play golf seven days a week and doesn’t mind when he regularly falls asleep at dinner parties.

Hilary (Hils) Tarleton h’cap 8 I gave this crazy lady her first golf lesson 7 years ago and she had the most natural swing I had ever seen, Hilary is a massive talent with the personality to match. The lure of the clubhouse bar has been her main downfall in previous events however winning the Ping National Finals last year has given her the confidence boost she needed, can she stay on the straight and narrow this week?

Julie (mi-Julie) Matthews h’cap 16 This likeable scouser is probably the nicest person here this week, however don’t let that charm and beauty fool you. Julie surprised a lot of people including herself last year when she won here against a tough field so this champion filly has good form over these tricky courses. Julie is the most normal of the five women on this trip, but that is nothing to be proud of when you get to know the other four.

Tim Maxwell (Maxi) plus 2 This man used to be a decent golfer until he decided he had better do some work for a change and earn some money for his young family a couple of years ago. Playing off plus 2 this week he needs to find some form quickly in order to compete at this level.

Trevor (Wattsy) Watts 11 h’cap The third oldest man in the field Trevor has a wealth of experience which should help him do well this week. Another big red wine fan this Alex Ferguson lookalike could fade towards the end of the week if he doesn’t pace himself.

Trevor is famous throughout Somerset for his magnificent putting and occasionally he goes to bed with his beloved Golden Goose putter tucked up next to him. Trevor is from the West Country so if you don’t understand what he is talking about just ‘smile and wave.’ Trevor once ate 12 pickled eggs in an hour- well done Trevor.

James (Jack) Kirwan 16 h’cap Big Jack is the oldest player here this week and you will see him smiling as he careers around the course in his buggy. Jack is slightly deaf and has poor eyesight and this combined with his love of speed make playing in his 4 ball a very risky business. I had several near death experiences playing in a pro-am with him last year.

Jack is also the best reader of greens I have ever seen. He stands between the ball and the hole then closes his eyes and then feels any slopes through his size 12 feet, before gently rolling the ball into the cup with monotonous ease.

Doris (Marylin Monroe) Kirwan 26 h’cap Doris is a wonderful lady with Hollywood looks and a smile to match. You may see Doris this week clinging to the buggy for grim death with one hand and peeling a banana with the other as her elderly husband tries to locate his ball down a rocky ravine. May the force be with you Doris.

Phil Cavill hcap 24 (The Deviant) Phil is a professional singer. Having had a very successful West End career starring in Miss Saigon and Les Miserables. As for his golf Phil has not played competitively since Portugal 2009. He has been in practice and is working on getting his backswing past his right knee. His golfing plus points are

1. great practice swing

2. Best shout of ‘fore’ you will ever hear

3. Not a bandit off his handicap

Lets hope the hotel has a Karaoke night. Phil is a great bloke who always has a smile on his face. Phil has the whitest teeth in the field this week.

Gary Peachey hcap 22 (The Peach)

Gary is the elder statesman of our southern group having turned 50 last year. He is recovering from the rejection by the hit TV show ‘Ten Years Younger’ after conceding there was nothing they could do for him. Gary owns 2 golf clubs in Essex and after playing with Gary it will not surprise you to find out the Professionals who work for him do not give free lessons to anyone. We will make everyone aware of Gary ’s room number so in the event you find him walking aimlessly around looking dazed and confused you can return him to his bed.

Simon Maxwell (Ratty) 14 h’cap This talented golfer could have been a great player if he had worked at his game during his teens however the draw of the local Ladbrokes and a passion for juggling stunted his development. Simon is currently top of the Broken Cross poker league. He has started to finally listen to his younger brother and had some golf lessons in recent years and if he finds his A game I think he could be one to watch this week. Watch out for those steely poker eyes.

Peter ‘Sh*t or champagne’ Maxwell h’cap 20 My Dad either gets in the prizes or finishes last. Apart from a bad back, tennis elbow, golfers shoulder, television remote control wrist and crossword finger this injury prone golfer is fighting fit. Pete is a tremendous reader of very flat and very slow greens. If he stays fit he will be one to watch however I fear the complimentary house red wine could come out on top this week.

Mark (short legs)Stevens h’cap 6 Mark is one of lifes nice guys who knows everybody. This single figure player runs a successful bar in Essex and is a huge West Ham fan however his real passion is golf and he already has several major pro-am wins to his name. Mark has a simple swing and soft hands around the greens so should do well this week.

John (the shouter) Davies h’cap 10 John has a very successful Motor business in Manchester (cash deals are a speciality). If his team finds the wheels are falling off mechanic John is the man to save the day! This Chorlton-cum-Hardy member plays off a solid 10 handicap and can be very dangerous. John’s son is a very talented golfer on a scholarship in the States which costs his dad a fortune, can John teach him a few things himself with an overseas victory of his own?

Paul Kidley (baldie) h’cap 24 Receeding Paul Kidley has packed plenty of sunblock this week. This talented Southerner is both an MD of a Mechanical & Electrical Services Company and a famous radio DJ on , his style of presenting is a mix of Dave Lee Travis and Alan Partridge and his show is called ‘Sunday Roast’ which goes on air between 1-3 on a Sunday! His most memorable shot was during the last round of a major pro-am last year when he managed to drive a ball 6” into the ground on the fourth fairway at the Vilamoura old course.

Colin Neale hcap 8 (Ginger Gooner)

Colin isn’t ginger, apparently its ‘strawberry blond’. He is the manager of the infamous ‘Faces’ Nightclub in Ilford (to blame for the downfall of many premiership footballers along with most Essex ‘C’ listers )

Despite his stature, Colin is very long, he can hit a 9 iron 160 yards, mind you he does close the face at impact to the equivalent of a 2 iron. If there is a prize for the ‘prettiest dresser’ or the cleanest clubs, Colin will definitely win.

Results from Delamere.

2’s £80 3 pro v1s each Matt Taylor Alan Hayes Glynn Jones Chris Perrin Mark Ashton x2

Noel Cathcart Mick Holmes Ian George Steve Dunphy Cath Rawthore

Nearest pin 6th Cath Rawthore doz Ad333

Nearest pin 12th doz Ad333

1st Wilson tour bag

2nd vokey wedge

3rd Wilson cart bag

4th Dozen z star

5th Dozen Wilson staff balls

6th Bionic gloves

1st Andy Cunningham & Chris Perrin 48 14

2nd Colin Byrne & John Aikenhead 46 13

3rd Carl Kennedy & Joe York 44 12

4th Joe Kirwan & Jack Kirwan 44 11

5th Charles Herbert & Andy Stubbens 44 10

6th Andy Hall & Mick Holmes 44 9

7th John Hughes & Mark Ashworth 44 8

8th Gary Byrne & Stuart Biggs 43 7

9th Ian George & Steve Dunphy 43 6

10th Colin Roberts & John Rigby 43 5

11th Mark Noden & Les Stanier 43 4

12th Dave Antrobus & Steve Williams 42 3

13th Moby Rawthore & Cath Rawthore 42 2

14th Jimmy Murphy & Pete Myers 42 1

15th Matt Taylor & Laurie Cole 42

16th Jon Conlon & Ian McLellan 41

17th Phil Smeathers & Dave Harlow 41

18th Dick Perry & Mark Brown 41

19th Phil Okill & Alan Fairbanks 41

20th Ian King & Michael Spencer 41

Paul Wild & Craig Barker 40

Ian Bardsley & Mike Sweeney 40

Noel Cathcart & Russ Johnson 39

Jim Cox & Steve Jenkinson 39

Steve Rimmer & John Moore 39

Mike Daggitt & Pete Birtwistle 39

Stuart Wilson & Paul Wilson 39

Paul Dalby & Richard Walker 39

Roy Bramwell & Graham March 39

Darron Tickle & Gareth Morris 38

Glynn Jones & Geoff Barrett 37

Steve Savage & Paul Allen 37

Deon Broadbent & Tony Adderley 37

Barney Ross & Sean Woodward 37

John Grint & Brian Mottram 36

Dave Marchant & Bob Sinclair 36

Barry Weston & Steve Aspinall 36

Terry Hill & Eric Gregory 36

Pete Tinkler & Mike Sherry 36

Mark Foley & Ryan Foley 36

Ian Latham & Alan Hayes 36

Jimmy Eccles & Kenny Jepsum 35

Chih Hu & Rob Tabbron 34

Steve Ballard & Dave Barrow 33

Anne & Ian Greenough 33

Matt Fryer & Mike Verdon 33

Stuart Hall & Mike Magee 31