Room This Friday at Knutsford singles if you fancy a game on the best nine hole course in the North!- Greens are excellent.

Room next Friday at Preston – top 3 inland course in Lancashire

Maxitours at beautiful Bramhall Golf Club

Bramhall golf Club was in terrific condition for the visit of Maxitours today.

All my players had nothing but praise for this classic Cheshire course and the smooth fast greens were appreciated by all. The green keepers are doing a fantastic job.

‘That was amazing for the time of year!’ Announced knowledgeable talented golfer Simon Raine.

‘Magnificent course!’ Declared Russell Cash.

Damon and his bar staff provide the best food and hospitality on the Maxitours rota and there is always a very warm and friendly atmosphere in the clubhouse. Brilliant work guys and girls.

Bramhall think of everything. They even catered for the Tony Evans veteran Alsager team by having a simple door code for them to remember.

My son’s best friend Dom Smith was on work experience with me today and he is a lovely lad and did a great job. I sent him to the bar for a ‘long stand’. He came back 45 minutes later. It’s an oldie but a beauty. I nearly sent him into Bramhall for some tartan paint but he was much too smart to fall for that.

Paul Fell won last week but has asked for a front page apology today as I described his team as ‘Welsh’ in the report. He was devastated and assures me he lives in England despite having a slight welsh twang. Team mate Colin Bryan also wanted to clear things up and he informed me proudly that: ‘I am Welsh and I love sheep.’

Hector Campbell plays the bagpipes. He says it is a real skill but the bagpipes are very hard to maintain and keep in tune, apparently you have to practice hard and carefully look after the reeds, the pipes and the bag.

‘It’s one of the hardest instruments in the world to play. But its much easier than golf.’ He reported.

Millionaire retired lawyer Ian Goulty had a bad twenty minutes. He picked up his ball up on the 9th hole after a series of poor shots. He soon cheered up when he saw his favourite treat in the half way house- millionaire shortbread – always guaranteed to cheer you up after a bad hole!

After teeing off on the 10th he searched for his chocolate which he had lovingly placed next to his bag before spotting a huge crow enjoying his treat on the 18th fairway. Hard toffee Ian.

In todays event three teams shared 4th place on 84 points. As the day progressed the temperature rose and so did the scores.

Simon Raines lovable Northerners took 3rd place on 86 points.

Second place went to Prestburys Geoff Bickerton(3) and his team of Gary Amos(4), Steve Booth(8) and Ian Andrews(11). Geoffs good pal Gary had been keenly watching his less than average performances each week on the results email.

‘You need me in your team to give you a chance.’ He informed Geoff last week. Sure enough with Gary’s huge confidence and self-belief the team had a season high second place finish.

Winning today was Bob Bailey(5) who is a Southerner but still a nice bloke. He runs the senior team at Wilmslow Golf Club and led the way for his team today. Team mate and Former European table tennis champ John Hilton(13) is teaching him how to play ping pong but Bob was showed him how to strike a golf ball today. Steve Austin(15) and retired teacher Gary Smith(8) completed the team.

Well played chaps great scoring.

Thanks to everyone for your support today.

Tim

Nearest the pin 12th hole Chris Chidley Doz AD333 (this is hard to believe but true)

Nearest the pin 14th hole Bob Bailey Doz AD333

2’s sweep £215

Lots of 2’s today -3 pro 1s or 7 srixon AD333 : Paul Higgs Stuart Taylor Steven Booth x2 Denis O’Neill John Nuttall Ben Jackson Hector Campbell Mark Hagarty Martin Humphries Ian Fearns Alan Squires Brian Leatherbarrow Andy Corner Chris Ravenscroft Simon Raine Ian Owens Chris Chidley Chris Walley Jim Hodges Bob Bailey John Hilton

Knutsford Singles THIS FRIDAY 28th April

10.39Simon Hemsley x4

10.48 Colin Roberts x4

10.57 Mick Mahon x4

11.06 Dave Buckley x4

11.15 Richard Blackwellx4

11.24 Lee Tilley x4

11.33 Roger Percival x4

11.42 Paul Salt x4

11.51 Paul Gilbert x4

12.00

12.09 Peter Maher x4

12.18 Geoff Bickerton x4

12.27 Andy Taylor x4

Preston Friday 5th May

9.30 David Wilkinson x4

9.38 Simon Hemsley x4

9.46 Colin Roberts x4

9.55 Jim Caldwell x4

10.04 Dave Buckley x4

10.13 Martin Prescott x4

10.21 Neale Laurent x4

10.30 Martin Williams x4

10.39 Mick Mahon x4

10.48 Paul Fell x4

10.57 Martin Humphries x4

11.06 Dave Goodwin x4

11.15 John Hudson x4

11.24 Lewis Marlandx4

11.33 Gary Neiles x4

11.42 Paul Salt x4

11.50Dave Monk x4

1.08 Roy Ainsworth x4

1.17 Paul Price x4

1.26 Peter Maher x4

1.35 Jim Lindsay x4

1.43 Richard Blackwell x4

1.52 Andy Taylor x4

2.00 Paul Rudkin x4

2.09 Steve Heywood x4

2.17 Simon Poucher x4

2.25 Lee Tilley x4

2.34 Dave Hughes x4

2.42 Jimmy McEwan x4

2.50 Jimmy McEwan x4

2.59 Ian Reece x4

3.07

3.16 John Dickenson x4

3.25

3.34

3.42

Maxitours events kindly sponsored by xentum.co.uk

Dear Maxitours player,

Due to my computing incompetence and also trying to send the results out after a cheese and wine evening at my golf club last night I managed to lose all the results!

Sorry about the delay as I have had a busy day teaching this morning then watching the football this afternoon.

Congratulations to Paul Fells team who had a first win of the year. Lovely lads with a great attitude to the game. Thanks to everyone for getting around in 4 hours throughout the day- superb.

Tim

Maxitours at lovely Llangollen

Over 100 Maxitours players enjoyed playing in the Welsh valleys today.
The morning weather was mixed but the clouds soon parted and a lovely afternoon was enjoyed by all. The morning was very atmospheric with the tops of the surrounding mountains covered in a spooky low cloud.
‘It looks like a scene from gorillas in the mist’ Reported Simon ‘Tarzan’ Poucher.
The course was in its usual fine condition and continues to be a real[T1] Maxitours favourite.
‘That was a great afternoon of golf!’ Reported John Kelsall

The later starters had the best of the weather and the scores gradually improved as the day progressed. To be perfectly honest the scores improved until Stuart Hibberts team handed their card in and then they deteriorated a little. Stuart is recognized in the golfing world as the worst player in Maxitours history and the handicap sheet often doesn’t go high enough for me to work out how many shots he gets. He cleaned his clubs specially for today. (Not to get any additional backspin but just to see what numbers were on the bottom of the clubs as they were so filthy he keeps hitting the wrong club.)

Kev Hart had no one to play with this week so I teamed him up with Pete Mahers team. He must have made quite an impression on them with the quality of his golf.
Playing partner and new friend Nigel Koenan shouted across the car park as they parted after the round : ‘Thanks for the game Terry, really enjoyed meeting you!’

Scoring once again average as the damp fairways and cool Spring conditions took their toll.
Roy Ainsworth is surprising everyone with his recent form and he led his team into 3rd with 79 points.
Wilmslows Jim Caldwell maintained his good form despite a handicap cut and took 2nd with 80 points. Liam Pilkington picked up three shots for the team in the middle of the round after overpowering the tough 12th and 13th holes.
Winning was the Welsh based team of Colin Bryan(7), Mike Lowe(10), Paul Fell(5) and Nigel Ashton(9). These lads are at their best when surrounded by sheep and they picked up a hefty seven points on the 16th to ease them into first place. Well played lads – great golf.

Thanks to everyone for your 100% attendance despite a mixed forecast- brilliant.
FULL RESULTS POSTED TOMORROW- COMPUTER LOST THEM SOMEHOW!

Nearest the pin 14th Chris Adams Doz D333
#Nearest the pin 18th Barry Wilson DOZ AD333

2’s £220
10 PRO V1 or 24 srixon AD333
Graham Davenport Mark Hoyland Chris Adams Phil Young Andy Stokes Simon Hemsley

Bramall start sheet Monday 24th April
8.45 Colin Roberts x4
8.54 Ed Pysden x4
9.03 Lee Tilley x4
9.12 Dave Goodwin x4
9.21 Andy Taylor x4
9.30 Paul Gilbert x4
9.40 Steve Hall x4
9.49 Martin Bramwell x4
9.57 Paul Fell x4
10.06 Martin Humphries x4
10.14 Tom McGoona x4
10.23 Paul Evans x4
10.32 Lewis Marland x4
10.41 Neale Laurent x4
10.50 Jim Lindsay x4
10.59Jim Clarke x4
11.08 Ian Fearns x4
11.17 Mick Mahon x4
11.25 Peter Maher x4
11.34 Darren Booth x4
11.43 Kev Hart x4
11.52 Jon Hudson x4
12.02 John Hilditch x4
12.11 Dave Sully x4
12.20 Martin Williams x4
12.29 Geoff Bickerton x4
12.38 Paul Salt x4
12.48Dave Monk x4
1.03 Richard Blackwellx4
1.12 Sam Leach x4
1.21 Simon Raine x4
1.30 John Hunt x4
1.39
1.48 Jim Caldwell x4
1.57 Paul Higgs x4
2.06
2.15Nathan Mills x4
2.24 Richard Bamforth x4
2.32 Gary Owen x4

Room for 2 teams at Sunny and hot Vale of Llangollen next Friday 21st April!!

Room at Bramall on Monday 24th April

DO NOT FORGET YOUR SUNCREAM!!!

Maxitours at brilliant Helsby

Helsby was in excellent condition for todays Maxitours event. There was little sign of yesterdays horrific weather – the green keepers did a magical job mowing their greens and fairways first thing this morning for us. Thank you very much.

Rob behind the bar and Julie who single handedly served over 100 golfers were both fantastic- what a club!

John Sherrington is back from the Masters. As I predicted 2 weeks ago he is desperate to tell everyone about it but knows he will be assassinated in my report. Please can everyone completely ignore him if he starts telling any Augusta stories.

Kevin Hart is working hard at his putting in recent weeks and he was delighted to hit his 4th putt straight into the middle of the hole on the tricky 12th green. Excellent work Kev.

The scoring was very close indeed as breezy conditions and a well designed golf course got the better of the majority of teams. The sunny conditions were also a shock to the system for many players.

A record low score of just 78 was leading for most of the day.

‘I really can’t believe that a score of only 78 is winning!’ Said an exasperated John Farnsworth when he handed his card in.

‘I can!’ Chipped in his long suffering team mate Mick Mahon ‘ it’s 18 shots better than our score.’

Three teams shared 78 points.

Jim Caldwells Wilmslow team finished 4th on the card play off.

Poulton Parks quartet of Paul Roberts, Mike Hall, Phil Johnson and Neil Birchall also scored 78 with a superior back nine to take 3rd . They all arrived together in a huge coach and bonded on the journey. I have no idea why they needed a huge coach but it seemed to do the trick.

Winning the play off was the team of Delamere Forests Roger Percival , Cheshire senior Martin France, Pete the pie eater Atherton and Ed Wilkinson. The quartet have been quiet recently. Team Captain Ed normally only smiles when he is on his 3rd pint in the bar but he was delighted with second place. This man can putt.

Winning today was Mick Jones(8), Dan Moss(4), Darren Wilkinson(10) and Dave Ashworth(4) from Hazel Grove with just 79 points. They went quiet after picking up just 2 points on the 14th and were shocked and delighted to win with such a low score.

‘We love Maxitours – so many nice players and a score of 79 winning a team of 4 event shows what great integrity your players have.’

Thanks for your words Mick, Very well played.

Thanks to everyone for your attendance today. Brilliant.

Yours in golf,

Tim

Nearest the pin 11th Simon Hemsley Doz AD333

Nearest the pin 18th Stuart Blake Doz AD333

2’s £190 3 pro v1s or 8 srixon AD333

Pete Atherton Andy Corner Paul Robinson Paul Price Dave Hest Ronnie Moore David Wilkinson Gary Hodkinson Charlie Beadle Jonny Reeves George Kerr Martin Pugh Brian Ankers (this is not a mistake) Chris Lee Martin Trinkett

Llangollen start sheet

Friday 21st April

9.00 John Atkin x4

9.09 Simon Hemsley x4

9.18 Colin Roberts x4

9.27 Jim Caldwell x4

9.36

9.45 Dave Goodwin x4

9.54

10.03 Jim Lindsay x4

10.12 Paul Fell

10.21 Paul Evans x4

10.30 Neale Laurent x4

10.39 2 Dave Buckley x4

10.48 Geoff Bickerton x4

10.57 Roy Ainsworth x4

11.06 Gary Neiles x4

11.15 Graham Blood x4

11.24 Peter Maher x4

11.33 Richard Harper x4

11.42 Steve Aspinall x4

11.51 Kev Hart x4

12.00 John Hilditch x4

12.09 Barry Simpson x4

12.18 Dave Sully x4

12.27 Dave Griffiths x4

12.36 Martin Williams x4

12.45 Chris Chidley x4

12.54 Paul Salt x4

1.03 Dave Monk x4

1.12 AndyTaylor x4

1.21 John Kelsall x4

1.30 Richard Blackwellx4

1.39 Eugenio Fernandez x4

1.48 John Hunt x4

1.57 Dave Hughes x4

2.06 Simon Poucher x4

2.15

2.24 Simon Willway x4

2.33 Lee Tilley x4

2.42 Don Phillips x4

Room for two teams at Helsby in deepest Cheshire next Thursday 13th April.
Room for 1 team at lovely Llangollen Fri 21st April
Spaces for singles or team at Knutsford 28th April

Maxitours at Super Stockport

The Stockport Golf Course keeps getting better and better.

The friendliest staff, the best food, wonderful greens and lovely members all combine to make this a favourite course of mine.

Greenkeepers hate this week because of ‘Augusta syndrome’ when club members wonder why their golf course isn’t playing exactly like the masterpiece in Georgia which has over 50 green keepers working intensively for several weeks in perfect growing conditions. There will be no Augusta syndrome at Stockport as the course was amazing. Big thanks to the greens staff.

Terry Friday played today. The last time he played five years ago I made a Robinson Crusoe reference in my write up. Today he told me he loves his surname and is glad he wasn’t called Monday because everyone loves a Friday. Nice line Terry.

The green staff were quietly working hard today but still using their knowledge and keeping well out of the way of our players golf shots. All of our players except Gary Butler that is. He managed to ‘wang’ his tee shot left on the 14th narrowly missing the head greenkeeper and hitting his tractor tyre.
‘It’s always good to keep these lads on their toes’ He explained in the bar afterwards.

The scoring was really tough on the fast greens and back tees. In fact the average score of 73 was as bad as we have seen all year.

A few team managers did an Antonio Conte and tried to throw their players under the bus:
‘How is Martin playing?’ I asked Fred Rogers ‘I don’t even know why we bring him.’ He sighed.
‘How did Brian Ankers play?’ I enquired to Roy Ainsworth. ‘He struggled again today- I can still throw a piano further than he hits it’.
‘Have you got a better team next week at Helsby?’ I added. ‘No, it’s the same old rubbish’ I’d do better dragging someone off the street’

Simon Poucher is a great bloke. He is known as Aquaman to his golfing friends as he loves hitting his ball in the water. Simon enjoys Stockport as there is not too much water but there are plenty of trees. I only saw him hitting a couple of shots today but they both ricocheted off timber. His team mates have now started calling him Tarzan.

A card play off decided 3rd and 4th place with Paul Yearsleys back nine of 45 matching Jim Caldwell however a back six card play off saw Pauls team victorious.

The top two spots were also decided on the back nine with Gary Leeks Moor Hall team narrowly beaten by Prestbury’s Steve Hall(13), Phil Singh(10), Martin Prescot(6) and Mike Clewley(14) who came home in 45. These guys are usually hopeless but they played great today and enjoyed the superfast greens when others were struggling. Very popular winners indeed.

Thanks to everyone for your 100% attendance. Incredible.

2’s Sweep £260 4 pro v1s or 9 srixon AD333
Jim Caldwell Dave Sarsfield Dave Lomax x2 Jim Meldrum Steve Migger Martin Keane Dave Shafer Simon Lewis Colin Bryan Mike Keen Jim Hodges Howard Kelly Dave Carlile Simon Poucher Steve Wild Alan Entwistle Charles Nicholson

Nearest the pin 16th Dozen AD333 Charles Nicholson
Nearest the pin in 2 on 18th Doz AD333 Kev Hart

Helsby Start sheet Thursday 13th April.
9.30 John Atkin x4
9.38 Simon Hemsley x4
9.46 Colin Roberts x4
9.55 Jim Caldwell x4
10.04 Ed Pysden x4
10.13 Dave Goodwin x4
10.22 Dave Blood x4
10.31 Paul Fell
10.40 Martin Humphries x4
10.49 Lee Tilley x4
10.58 Paul Evans x4
11.07 Lewis Marland x4
11.16 Neale Laurent x4
11.24 Bob Pickthall x4
11.33Jim Clarke x4
11.42 Mick Mahon x4
11.51 Peter Maher x4
11.59 Geoff Bickerton x4
12.08 Kev Hart x4
12.17 Jon Hudson x4
12.26 Jimmy McEwan x4
12.35 Brett Moore x4
12.44 Gary Kirkwood x4
12.53 Martin Williams x4
1.02 Roger Percival x4
1.11 Richard Blackwellx4
1.20 Paul Roberts x4
1.29 Dave Hughes x4
1.38Chris Chidley x4
1.47 Paul Salt x4
1.56 Roy Ainsworth x4
2.04 Paul Brown x4
2.13Paul Higgs x4
2.24
2.33
2.42 Dave Sully x4
2.51
3.00 Mick Jones x4