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Terrific upcoming Maxitours events

Knutsford AM AM Thursday 28th June – course in great condition very few spaces
Worsley AM AM Thursday July 5th –just 4 team spots remaining
Crewe Massey Feeds Pairs Tuesday 10th July- few spaces
Tytherington Thursday 19th July Shotsaver Am Am- limited spots

Maxitours at superb Conwy

Picture postcard conditions greeted the Maxitours players at Conwy today. The Conwy course was described as ‘the best its ever been’ by helpful assistant pro Andy Blake. The fairways and greens and surrounds were immaculate –it really was in superb condition.

Tubby Dave Antrobus is a salad dodger and he turned up 3 hours early for his start time, he really enjoys the famous Conwy Golf Club breakfast and was terrified in case the chef ran out of bacon.

Dave Henshall was running a little late for his start time ‘Is that clock right?’ he asked his partners ‘No, its up the wall’ replied the quick witted Alan Noden.

Unlucky Paul Hodgson is a lovely chap and is employed as a caring social worker. Today he sat down wearing his newly pressed Galvin Green golf pants ready to enjoy his full English Breakfast ‘I’m looking forward to this today- you wouldn’t believe the week I’ve had’ he remarked chewing on a sausage. Just as he tucked in to his black pudding the plate slipped off the table and a portion of beans fell on his lap.

The likeable Dave Henshall from Didsbury has worked hard on his swing this winter as he was desperate to find some consistency in his game. In his second Maxitours outing of the season he was delighted to record a second consecutive and very consistent last place finish.

Performing well in todays event was the colourful pairing of Alistair Brown and Barry Green from Mere who finished in 4th position with a solid 42 points.

Ted Biddlecombe teamed up with Al Collins and they were delighted with 43 points and 3rd place around the championship links ‘I think that is the best course I have ever played’ said the well-travelled Collins.

Kevin Chisnell and Mo Dah from Mere also scored 43 points to finish 2nd and they incredibly had the same back nine, back six and back three as Collins, only a classy three point haul on the 18th hole separated the two massively talented pairs.

Todays winners were Paul Wrigley and Paul Armstrong from North Manchester , Armstrong watched by a rowdy group of clubmates on the balcony coolly rolled in a high pressure birdie putt at the last to win by just one shot.
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Ex professional boxer John Aikenhead has a squashed nose and the Didsbury man hit a snorter on the 15th hole to take nearest the pin in some style.

Many thanks for everybody for playing today, and many thanks to Conwy and its friendly staff for their terrific hospitality

Nearest the Pin 2nd hole Paul Armstrong
Nearest the Pin 15th hole John Aikenhead

2’s £90 5 pro Vs or 10 Srixon AD333s
Alistair Brown Pete O’Neill John Bent Malc Wells Trevor Golds Ted Biddlecombe Andy Hall

Conwy pairs next Tuesday-limited spaces-see below
Knutsford Am Am Thursday 28th June- limited spaces
Old Worsley Am Am Thursday 5th July-spaces

Maxitours at tremendous Cavendish

The Alister Mackenzie designed Cavendish Golf course was todays tremendous Maxitours venue. All players were raving about the quality of the course after completing their rounds. ‘Those sloping greens were fantastic’ said Matt Pugsley ‘I’ve never enjoyed three putting as much in my whole life.’

One of the benefits of the recent wet conditions has been the absence of bad shorts on the golf course. Unfortunately in todays sunny conditions Arthur Jowell displayed perhaps the worst shorts ever seen in a Maxitours event combined with perhaps the worst legs ever seen in a Maxitours event, lets all pray that more rain is on the way soon.

The England football team surprised the nation recently with the quality of their performance against France . Alan Clough surprised his playing partner with the quality of his golf shots today and he helped big hitting Terry Davison to a 7th place finish.

Geoff Cogswell and Ray Twist drove all the way from the hills of Blackburn to play in Buxton today, it was obvious that they felt immediately at home and really comfortable being surrounded by large numbers of sheep and they scored a solid 40 points to finish in 6th position.

Local member Malcolm Burgess is 74 years old, he still plays off single figures and this experienced golfer used all his local knowledge around the tricky Mackenzie course as he cleverly scored a solid 41 playing alongside Bob Turner.

Big Barry Harrison is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet, today he played great golf alongside Denton team mate David Hookes and they scored 43 points to finish in second position.

On form Ray Ward made back to back birdies on the 3rd and 4th holes to give their round a real boost and it was team-mate Gary Garner who finished strongly as they combined well to record 43 points for a terrific first place finish.-Well played chaps!

Many thanks for all players for your support of todays event.

2’s £60 3 pro v1’s or 6 srixon AD333s Gary Parle Ray Ward Matt Pugsley Alan Tranter Pete O’Neill Ian Handy Neil Rich

Nearest the Pin 4th Ray Ward doz AD333
Nearest the Pin 15th Ian Handy doz AD333

Great Maxitours upcoming events!
Conwy Pairs 19th June £25
Knutsford Am Am 28th June £20
Old Worsley Am Am 5th July £20
Crewe Pairs 10th July £20

Results from ‘The Wilson Classic’ at Immaculate Prestbury Golf Club

Over 100 competitors teed off in the Wilson Masters at immaculate Prestbury Golf Club today. There is nothing worse than playing golf in hot sticky summer conditions and the refreshing Northern drizzle was really welcomed by all the players.

‘Can I pick up some golf balls my pal won last week? asked shrewd multimillionaire businessman Colin Lynch. ‘Certainly – I forgot let him know he also won a titleist glove-what size is he?’ I replied
‘Err, think he will need an ML’ replied the medium large handed Lynch, just a little too quickly. On the course Lynch birdied the 15th, topped his tee shot and duffed his second before holing a six iron for a second consecutive birdie on the 16th, he then made another birdie on the 17th ! This stunning finish was good enough for 8th place and he wins a medium large glove.

Britain has recently enjoyed a huge few days of partying, first the nation celebrated ‘the Neville Dennis reaching 75 weekend’ and then the Queen enjoyed her Jubilee.
Continuing the Jubilee theme it has been suggested 71 year old Cliff Richard could be slightly past his best, Seamus Keegan from Didsbury is actually getting better with age and he finished 2nd with 44 points playing alongside Wayne Nuttall.
Elton John lookalike Brian Hopkins holed a terrific eight iron on the 6th hole to earn five points on that particular hole and playing alongside Charles Herbert their 43 points finished 3rd.
Kylie Minogue lookalike Carl Kennedy partnering Dom McHugh made tremendous birdies on the 14th and 16th to finish in 7th position.
Alex Rugen and Tony Crook from Leigh Golf Club both have a look of Tom Jones and they eventually took the honours with a solid 45 point haul, both players contributed 9 times in a real team effort, very well played chaps.

Ex Grandstand trophy winner Alan Clough from Cheadle Hulme hit his tee shot within two feet of the hole on Prestburys signature 17th hole, unfortunately he missed out on sweep balls as he left his putt short, ‘it was uphill’ said the likeable motocross champion ‘at least it will win nearest the pin’. As Alan knows sport at this incredibly high level can be cruel and David Coyle in the penultimate match to nearly holed his tee shot as he put his ball within 2 inches to snatch nearest the pin, and leave Cloughie absolutely devastated.

Many thanks to the legendary Malcolm Thorniley from Wilson Golf for kindly sponsoring todays event and providing such excellent prizes.
Nearest the Pin 7th Ian King Dozen Wilson balls
Nearest the Pin 17th David Coyle Dozen Wilson Balls

£67.50 5 pro Vs each or 10 Ad 333s
Mark Vickers Marcus Kaye David Coyle Phil Davies

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Terrific Upcoming events
Thursday 7th June Prestbury- nearly full
Thursday 14th June Cavendish-nearly full
Tuesday 19th June Conwy- nearly full
Thursday 28th June Knutsford -nearly full

Maxitours at North Manchester Golf Club

The sun was once again cracking the flags as North Manchester hosted todays Maxitours event. The course was in really excellent condition and a few competitors had never played the course before. ‘What a stunning course’ was the general consensus.

Both ends of the golfing spectrum have been on display this week. Millionaire Luke Donald looked immaculate and also played immaculately to win the prestigious PGA Championship at Wentworth. Colin Walton always looks scruffy and he played even more scruffily as he finished in last place in the prestigious Maxitours Classic at North Manchester today. After his victory Donald trudged back to the practice ground and Colin headed happily for the bar.

Dave Stanhopes team took the early lead in the Clubhouse with 80 points despite larger than life team mate Phil Smeathers having a poor time with his long game ‘I just didn’t know where it was going’ he muttered into his fast disappearing San Miguel. ‘We new where it wasn’t going’ added cruel team mate Dave Antrobus.

The Manchester members were telling me some deer were actually spotted on the course last week. Patrick O’ Neill from Davyhulme Golf Club appreciated the natural beauty of the course as he has just returned from a wildlife rambling holiday in Spain . The Irishman is still desperately trying to find his first cuckoos nest.
Today Patrick teamed up with three Bolton Lostock members and they scored a stunning 88 points. Star of the team was seven handicap Malcolm Wells and he was delighted to play the tough Championship course in just two over par. Ron Hopkins and Ian Richardson also contributed strongly. Well played chaps.

Charles Herbert was also on form today and the six foot 8 inch gentle giant drove the 371 yard 16th as his team scored 81 points to take 2nd place. James Holman, Frank Garvey, Paul Bradley and Sean Reilly produced another solid performance for a third place finish.

With only three par threes on the course making a two is always difficult at North Manchester . Terry Davison and Alan Welsh both made classy 2s on par fours to earn some much needed golf balls in the sweep.

9th Hole nearest the pin Sean Reilly Dozen AD333
18th hole nearest the pin George Gregson Dozen AD333

2’s £95 30 pro v1 balls or 60 srixon AD333s 4 pro V1s each or 9 Srixon AD333s each Nigel Fairhurst Terry Davison Malc Wells Alan Welsh Neil Ritchie Max Waghat Menaz Sulaman

Great upcoming events

North Manchester AM AM Tuesday 29th May few spaces
Prestbury pairs Thursday 7th June few spaces
Cavendish pairs Thursday 14th June few spaces
Conwy pairs Tuesday 19th nearly full (please note-tee times 1.30pm- 4.45pm)
Knutsford AM AM Thursday 28th nearly full

The Shotsaver Masters at Hazel Grove

The classy Alastair Mackenzie designed Hazel Grove was the gloriously sunny setting for todays Maxitours event. It was even hotter than last week in Florida where I enjoyed big pecan pancakes each morning, big steaks and big ice cream in the evening, and big scores on the golf course in the afternoon.

Maxitour legend Neville Dennis celebated his 75th birthday today with a bacon sandwich served by an attractive waitress – ‘I’m 75 today, is this bacon sandwich free?’ he asked hopefully. She didn’t even bother to reply.
Then he picked up his scorecard ‘Do I have to pay for the golf today- its my birthday’ he asked, before heading £20 lighter to the first tee via the pro shop in search of a free mars bar.

Nevilles birthday really started with an excellent 200 yard tee shot which split the fast running 1st fairway.

Ageing Moby Rawthore has developed a bald patch this winter and he looked worried on the first tee when he suddenly realised a cap was required to prevent sunstroke on the top of his newly exposed head. Moby has a selection of very cheap redundant visors for sale if anybody would like one.

Pete Moores is not allowed to play any golf mid week. Each evening his detective wife checks his face for any signs of radiation and his shirt collars for any sign of suncream residue. Today, for the first time, he tried out his new factor 50, no smell, clear, non greasy, Boots own suncream ‘its fantastic stuff, she’ll have absolutely no idea what I’ve been up to today!’ said a delighted and still slightly pasty faced Moores.

In todays event Tony Lowe teamed up with home player Ben Shelley and they were overjoyed with their 43 point haul which earned them a second place finish. Two handicapper Pete O’Neill teamed up with the very consistent John Reilly and their 43 points finished 3rd.

Very tanned Ex European table tennis champion John Hilton obviously enjoys playing with his very small white balls and he teamed up with Andy Hamlett, they were very happy to finish 4th on 42 points.

Carl Kennedy has really struggled lately with his golf game and had not had a top five finish for over 6 months. He has recently turned into an incredibly reliable putter, give him a four foot putt and he is guaranteed to miss. Today the very likeable Northenden member proved that form is temporary and class is permanent as he scored an excellent 45 points with his partner Dom McHue to take todays honours in style. Very well played chaps.

Brian Mottram and his team enjoyed a couple of pints after play in the bar and the bad jokes started to flow. ‘We’re stopping for an Indian on the way home, I’m having chicken Tarka massala, it tastes very like chicken tikka massala, its just a little bit otter.’

Thanks for your support of todays event.

Nearest the pin 2nd Pete O’Niell dozen AD333
Nearest the pin 13th David Coyle dozen AD333
2’s £62.50 20 pro v1s 4 pro v1s or 8 srixon AD333 per two.
John Hilton Dick Perry David Coyle John Farrell Ian Wadsworth